Today, I plan on having a moment, a girl moment if you will. I am in love, like deeply madly in love, and I'm just prayerful that it is not ruining my life.
We've been together for three years, off and on, and its been a long, rocky, bumpy road. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't love almost every bit of it. We've lied to each other, cheated on each other, and I really just wanted to know from other people was that normal. Do epic couples like (Ruby Dee and the late Ossie Davis, Denzel and Pauletta, and Bill Camille) go through periods of "young and dumb"?
I remember reading an article once about Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis about when they attempted at having an open marriage. What they learned that it can turn out poorly for everybody involved including the people they attempted to have relationships outside of their marriage.
I made this list, the list they say make about your significant other, and our good usually out weighs the bad. I say usually because when things get down in the dumps for us, they usually get really bad.
The last major test of our relationship (see possible infidelity) I was outwardly over it within hours of everything coming to light. But inwardly I was shook, shook to the core, and yet I was still overwhelmingly in love with him even though there was the possibility of infidelity.
The thing is, I'm in love with him, and I saw my whole life with him, and even though I was shook, am I supposed to give all of it up over a possible mistake. Now granted, there was most certainly some wrong doing involved, but there was no follow through (i.e; the pass was incomplete, and not even made) but the idea is the plans should not have been made. I was hurt, stark raving mad, and ready to go for blood, but I still was and madly in love with him.
Here is this man, that cooks for me, will help me clean if ask him to, he watches my back, will buy the groceries and cook the dinner, will wash my car, fix my car, rub my back, rub my sinuses clear, and he knows how to really ring my bell. He takes care of my emotional and physical needs, and a lot of times I always feel I'm coming up short on my end of the bargain.
I love him, and I want to stay with him, regardless of the fact that I can't say whether or not he was where he said he was. All I want from him he gives me most of it... I have my 80/20 (see 80% is right, and 20% is wrong), my 20% just happens to be questionable fidelity. I just don't want to be cheated on, and I don't want to cheat.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
So, since I'm at home and currently gainfully unemployed (soon to be underemployed) I get my daily dose of cheesy gossip blogs, as well as the actual news. So today I will just hit on a few of the things that I saw today that I thought were noteworthy.
First, over at gossip blog MediaTakeOut.com, they've made it head lining news that Diddy is sleeping with the mother of like four of his children, they're inferring that he's cheating on his alleged love interest Cassie... is anybody else wondering why this is such a big deal? He's had four children with this woman, and people are still surprised they're still getting it in?!! I'm not surprised, matter of fact I think its rediculous that that woman is still having kids with this man and has not received a solid commitment... Call me crazy but who just aspires to be a baby's mama? Even if the man is bringing in millions... to me that's all the more reason to go legit and make it legal...
Anywho, other things going on that have caught my attention... this President Obama vs. Fox News situation... I mean really it should be the general literate American population with any sense vs. Fox News... because how many of us take that network seriously anymore. It seems while other credible networks are busy reporting news, useful information, and subjects of human interest, Fox News is focusing in on fear mongering and propaganda. (Some blogs are even referring to them as Radio Rwanda, that reference might require you to dome research) Fox News apparently does not require they're reports to be researched or validated, and when confronted with corrections they brush them aside like yesterdays garbage and attempt to convince you of correction smorection.
For instance, Rush Limbaugh was reading from a paper that allegedly President Obama's senior thesis from Columbia on his radio show. He was reading from it, and encouraging his listeners to fear what Obama was saying as a 22 year old college student. When Limbaugh was confronted with the fact that it was a satirical piece from a satirical source, his response was "He may not have written it, but I know this is what he thinks." Is that really how the news works these days, you can say things that aren't true KNOWINGLY and just keep on going insisting that somewhere (I guess a parallel universe) this news is accurate. GTFOH with that!
Fox News proponents act as if Obama should appear on the network as opposed to just encouraging people to change their channels and not to focus on the propaganda. The POTUS does not have to time to address every lie Fox News spreads around, no one has time to address every lie Fox News spread, we'd all need to hire assistants and assistant assistants to fact find and correct Fox News... it is a network of propaganda!
In other news... Balloon boy. Anybody who knows me in real life knows that I can't stand no tom foolery... and those parents are the epitome of it. Encouraging your children to lie, to support a hoax, all so you can get your own fucking tv show. (Maybe they should try VH1, nearly every damn show on that channel is a hoax) How come cries for attention always end up costing innocent people money. The tax payers had to foot the bill for this massive search and rescue effort, all so these people could get on TV. I'm sorry, the way people have turned to trying to get famous for no reason at all as a career goal is absolutely disgusting and well really it saddens me. People who could focus their energy on something important, would rather focus on getting out of their cars showing their old raggedy pussies (see RHOA Kim Zolciak) for some damn attention. What happened to aspiring to be gainfully employed, now everybody is aspiring to just be famous for damn reason other than to be fucking famous...
First, over at gossip blog MediaTakeOut.com, they've made it head lining news that Diddy is sleeping with the mother of like four of his children, they're inferring that he's cheating on his alleged love interest Cassie... is anybody else wondering why this is such a big deal? He's had four children with this woman, and people are still surprised they're still getting it in?!! I'm not surprised, matter of fact I think its rediculous that that woman is still having kids with this man and has not received a solid commitment... Call me crazy but who just aspires to be a baby's mama? Even if the man is bringing in millions... to me that's all the more reason to go legit and make it legal...
Anywho, other things going on that have caught my attention... this President Obama vs. Fox News situation... I mean really it should be the general literate American population with any sense vs. Fox News... because how many of us take that network seriously anymore. It seems while other credible networks are busy reporting news, useful information, and subjects of human interest, Fox News is focusing in on fear mongering and propaganda. (Some blogs are even referring to them as Radio Rwanda, that reference might require you to dome research) Fox News apparently does not require they're reports to be researched or validated, and when confronted with corrections they brush them aside like yesterdays garbage and attempt to convince you of correction smorection.
For instance, Rush Limbaugh was reading from a paper that allegedly President Obama's senior thesis from Columbia on his radio show. He was reading from it, and encouraging his listeners to fear what Obama was saying as a 22 year old college student. When Limbaugh was confronted with the fact that it was a satirical piece from a satirical source, his response was "He may not have written it, but I know this is what he thinks." Is that really how the news works these days, you can say things that aren't true KNOWINGLY and just keep on going insisting that somewhere (I guess a parallel universe) this news is accurate. GTFOH with that!
Fox News proponents act as if Obama should appear on the network as opposed to just encouraging people to change their channels and not to focus on the propaganda. The POTUS does not have to time to address every lie Fox News spreads around, no one has time to address every lie Fox News spread, we'd all need to hire assistants and assistant assistants to fact find and correct Fox News... it is a network of propaganda!
In other news... Balloon boy. Anybody who knows me in real life knows that I can't stand no tom foolery... and those parents are the epitome of it. Encouraging your children to lie, to support a hoax, all so you can get your own fucking tv show. (Maybe they should try VH1, nearly every damn show on that channel is a hoax) How come cries for attention always end up costing innocent people money. The tax payers had to foot the bill for this massive search and rescue effort, all so these people could get on TV. I'm sorry, the way people have turned to trying to get famous for no reason at all as a career goal is absolutely disgusting and well really it saddens me. People who could focus their energy on something important, would rather focus on getting out of their cars showing their old raggedy pussies (see RHOA Kim Zolciak) for some damn attention. What happened to aspiring to be gainfully employed, now everybody is aspiring to just be famous for damn reason other than to be fucking famous...
Monday, October 26, 2009
A New Commitment
So... I realize that I attempted to begin this blog back in March, it's been six months since I posted some of my witty insightful musings, but because I do not have shit else to do for now, I am going to recommit myself to my writing. Since my last post, I've quit being a student... I'm finished with school for now...(I graduated with a whole lot of student loans...so please contact me about your desire to send me money now!)
I really can't wait to share my thoughts or things that have been happening over the last six months, but I don't even know where to begin... I want to talk about myself personally, my personal life, and my time spent on surfing the internet and seeing all this ridiculousness they call news.
Over the last six months my plate has been full of life, one portion of possible marriage, one portion of possible babies, one portion of actual 4 year old, and one very LARGE portion of unemployment.
I've also discovered I'm like Christopher Columbus, discovering shit that already existed like people are threatened by me because of size, color, and education. It amazes me that people are still disappointed when they meet me that I speak clear, articulate English, I'm well read, and I'm inquisitive and eager to learn. Do you know people would still prefer if I just sat down, shut up, sang and dance, and finally SHUCK and JIVE. I must admit I love a good song, and I love a good dance (who can resist the stanky leg... I know I can't) but I refuse to shuck anything, and most of all refuse to JIVE!
So people, your homework assignment for tonight is to read my blog postings... and then tell me what you would like for me to discuss... what would you like to discuss with me... I can do sex, religion, politics, pop culture...I'm ready...
I really can't wait to share my thoughts or things that have been happening over the last six months, but I don't even know where to begin... I want to talk about myself personally, my personal life, and my time spent on surfing the internet and seeing all this ridiculousness they call news.
Over the last six months my plate has been full of life, one portion of possible marriage, one portion of possible babies, one portion of actual 4 year old, and one very LARGE portion of unemployment.
I've also discovered I'm like Christopher Columbus, discovering shit that already existed like people are threatened by me because of size, color, and education. It amazes me that people are still disappointed when they meet me that I speak clear, articulate English, I'm well read, and I'm inquisitive and eager to learn. Do you know people would still prefer if I just sat down, shut up, sang and dance, and finally SHUCK and JIVE. I must admit I love a good song, and I love a good dance (who can resist the stanky leg... I know I can't) but I refuse to shuck anything, and most of all refuse to JIVE!
So people, your homework assignment for tonight is to read my blog postings... and then tell me what you would like for me to discuss... what would you like to discuss with me... I can do sex, religion, politics, pop culture...I'm ready...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
You Might Be A Racist
I am a black girl, I'm 23, and I was born and raised in Kansas. I'm also college educated, but un/fortunately for me I attained all of my education at a PWI (predominately white institution), and have the lucky recipient of latent, and sometimes not so latent racism. Don't worry kids, racism is alive a well... we burried the n-word, but forgot to bury what makes it so ugly. Go figure!
Anywho... I usually experience racism from young whites, the group that most think is the least racist. I've found that really, they're just carrying the torch. I have a finance degree, and I am currently pursuing my accounting degree ( times are rough, and I was selling cable, and accountants are accounting) And I still attend a PWI and that means I'm usually the only chocolate chip in the cookie. So in all group projects, I'm always grouped up with pink toes (thats old school black vernacular for white folks) Tunrs out young pink toes in Kansas are usually painfully racist.
My favorite comment "I would've got a scholarship, but I'm white." Can someone please tell me where is the free money for being black line?!!! I been looking for that shit my whole life. But unfortunately for me I'm black, middle class, with college educated parents... Nobody is sympathetic for me, an only child with access to two incomes...
A more recent occurance, apparently foreign university students are not only less articulate, but lack understanding to handle basic tasks such as reading and writing. Or at least thats what my white group members have revealed to me in comparing our group to other groups in our class. Let's just be real Quan, Xi, and Mohammed, more likely have had more education before they even get to college than the average american who is in the process of completing their BA. We've all know which kids are kicking ass at school from kindergarden... the foreign ones.
My favorite is the shock I see on white people's faces when they find out that I'm articulate. I didn't get the memo that me being a big black girl required me to be ignorant, inarticulate, loud, neck rolling, and finger wagging. Oh... I also didn't get the memo that I should have two or three babies daddy's right now instead of two degrees. (okay... well maybe I'm working on number 2) But you get the point.
Anywho... I usually experience racism from young whites, the group that most think is the least racist. I've found that really, they're just carrying the torch. I have a finance degree, and I am currently pursuing my accounting degree ( times are rough, and I was selling cable, and accountants are accounting) And I still attend a PWI and that means I'm usually the only chocolate chip in the cookie. So in all group projects, I'm always grouped up with pink toes (thats old school black vernacular for white folks) Tunrs out young pink toes in Kansas are usually painfully racist.
My favorite comment "I would've got a scholarship, but I'm white." Can someone please tell me where is the free money for being black line?!!! I been looking for that shit my whole life. But unfortunately for me I'm black, middle class, with college educated parents... Nobody is sympathetic for me, an only child with access to two incomes...
A more recent occurance, apparently foreign university students are not only less articulate, but lack understanding to handle basic tasks such as reading and writing. Or at least thats what my white group members have revealed to me in comparing our group to other groups in our class. Let's just be real Quan, Xi, and Mohammed, more likely have had more education before they even get to college than the average american who is in the process of completing their BA. We've all know which kids are kicking ass at school from kindergarden... the foreign ones.
My favorite is the shock I see on white people's faces when they find out that I'm articulate. I didn't get the memo that me being a big black girl required me to be ignorant, inarticulate, loud, neck rolling, and finger wagging. Oh... I also didn't get the memo that I should have two or three babies daddy's right now instead of two degrees. (okay... well maybe I'm working on number 2) But you get the point.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Octomum pisses me off
So let's begin today with a rant. I am still very much upset and outraged (yes I said outraged) by the OCTOMOM. First of all, in these harsh economic times a lot of people have delayed starting a family, or put off having a new baby, or even have had vasectomies and tubal ligation to keep from having unwanted pregnancies. So it might be safe to surmise that new children may be somewhat of a luxury. I'd like to go ahead and throw this out there, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, it almost seems as if children are for rich people... they wanna eat two and three times day, they want clean clothes, and they get to be really demanding about having a warm dry place to live.
And here we have this fool, no husband, no job, no real visible means of fisical support for the six children she already has,decides she should have another litter of babies. I say litter because when you have a multiple birth occurance with that many babies, like a dog, you might as well call your brood a litter. Mind you, three of her first six are disabled (or at least she's collecting disability) for those children, and she herself claimed disability for a while. And she decides whether than give her mama some money for all that babysitting, she's gonna have another very expensive round of invitro fertilization... BULL BUTTER!!!
IVF is for people who can afford it, people who WORK! People that don't already have six kids. Guess who's taking care of this lovely family of 14 plus dumb mom... The government. Or in lamens terms... you, me, and the state of California. Is Nadya Suliman the reason why the state is broke? Maybe not, but lets just say she's taking in more than she's putting out.
So I think what pisses me off is that it appears her need to have 14 babies was not about her love of children, it was about a cry for attention. Not to be confused with a cry of help. She wanted some time in the sun, her 15 minutes, she was hoping for some type of celebrity. She's made deals to let media outlets peer into her life, to blog daily, and to basically become a spectacle. I've seen news about a new million dollar home, a jacuzzi, publicity agents, lawyers, free nannys, and pleas from Dr. Phil to help this poor idiot out. But I have yet to read the headline "OCTOMOM FINDS HER SILLY ASS A JOB"
What do you think? Should Nadya Suliman suffer the consequences and repercussions of her selfish decision. Or should we all join together and alternate babysitter her kids?
And here we have this fool, no husband, no job, no real visible means of fisical support for the six children she already has,decides she should have another litter of babies. I say litter because when you have a multiple birth occurance with that many babies, like a dog, you might as well call your brood a litter. Mind you, three of her first six are disabled (or at least she's collecting disability) for those children, and she herself claimed disability for a while. And she decides whether than give her mama some money for all that babysitting, she's gonna have another very expensive round of invitro fertilization... BULL BUTTER!!!
IVF is for people who can afford it, people who WORK! People that don't already have six kids. Guess who's taking care of this lovely family of 14 plus dumb mom... The government. Or in lamens terms... you, me, and the state of California. Is Nadya Suliman the reason why the state is broke? Maybe not, but lets just say she's taking in more than she's putting out.
So I think what pisses me off is that it appears her need to have 14 babies was not about her love of children, it was about a cry for attention. Not to be confused with a cry of help. She wanted some time in the sun, her 15 minutes, she was hoping for some type of celebrity. She's made deals to let media outlets peer into her life, to blog daily, and to basically become a spectacle. I've seen news about a new million dollar home, a jacuzzi, publicity agents, lawyers, free nannys, and pleas from Dr. Phil to help this poor idiot out. But I have yet to read the headline "OCTOMOM FINDS HER SILLY ASS A JOB"
What do you think? Should Nadya Suliman suffer the consequences and repercussions of her selfish decision. Or should we all join together and alternate babysitter her kids?
Greetings!!!
Hey people, I'm Nina... sales is my day job, but I moonlight as a writer. I love to read, I love to write, I love words. I love the way words work, I love the way they sound, I love how they let me express myself. I'm not a painter, or a musician, I've tried to be a singer, but it turns out I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. I've been writing as long as I could remember, prose, fiction mostly, and I have about 200 posts on my MySpace blog. I am going to be blogging on blogspot so that I can be more candid, and talk about more things without offending the general public.
From me, you can expect to hear about love, sex, relationships, life in general, and my maybe not so witty observations. But I'm also open to suggestions for topics. I also give pretty mean advice, so feel free to ask me what I think about totally random shit. I love to think and respond.
I plan to post about four times a week, and can't wait to entertain you.
From me, you can expect to hear about love, sex, relationships, life in general, and my maybe not so witty observations. But I'm also open to suggestions for topics. I also give pretty mean advice, so feel free to ask me what I think about totally random shit. I love to think and respond.
I plan to post about four times a week, and can't wait to entertain you.
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